ALF. Season 1, episode 7 (uncut version)

Don't forget, we're gonna talk	gonna = going to
about my birthday.
No problem.
So, Brian, your birthday's Thursday.
How old are you gonna be?
Seven.
How old are you, ALF?
Two-hundred-twenty-nine in August.
Gosh. How did you blow out	Gosh! = used for showing that you are surprised or a little annoyed
229 candles?
Blowing them out was easy.	blow out = if you blow out a flame, or if it blows out, it stops burning because you blow on it or because of the wind: He blew out all 60 candles on his birthday cake.
Lighting them was trouble.
See, by the time you're half-finished,
your wrist is on fire.	wrist = the part of your body between your hand and your arm: He looked at the gold watch on his wrist.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, I kill me.
Have you decided what you want
on your birthday cake?
Frosting.	frosting = a substance used to cover or fill cakes. It is made by mixing sugar with water or butter. (British English word for ‘frosting’ is ‘icing’)
[BOTH LAUGH]
Oh, I kill me.
Brian, your mother wants to know...
...what kind of decoration
you want on your cake.
Robin Hood, Hopalong Cassidy,	Robin Hood = a heroic outlaw in English folklore Hopalong Cassidy = a comic strip about a fictional cowboy hero
Archie and Jughead?	Archie and Jughead = American comic book charactets
Who are they?
People Mom and Dad
went to school with.
Perhaps those were outdated examples.	outdated = old and no longer suitable for modern purposes, methods, or situations
Hey, what about my favorite
character on the cake?
Ruth, the two-headed nurse.
- Ruth?
- The two-headed nurse?
Yeah, she was
the Vanna White of Melmac.	Vanna White = an American television personality and film actress
And the Betty White.	Betty White = an American actress, animal rights activist, author, comedienne, radio host, singer, and television personality
A gorgeous natural
and bleached blond.	bleached = made very pale by chemicals or strong sunlight: bleached blonde hair
Oh, Willie, she was voluptuous, sultry.	voluptuous = with a large curved body and sexually attractive sultry = sexually attractive
She had four sexy eyes and outstanding...
- ALF.
...nursing skills.
Why don't we let Brian
choose his own cake decoration?
I just can't decide right now.
If he hasn't decided by noon
tomorrow, we go with Ruth.	go with = to choose or accept something: I think we should go with yellow for the walls.
- Fine.
- But right now...
...it's time to talk about presents.
Isn't it, ALF?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Presents.
Right, right. Yeah.
- Give me the lead-in.	lead-in = introduction
- Oh, yeah.
What kind of presents
do you give on Melmac, ALF?
Well, Brian, on Melmac...
...we always give
very expensive presents.
How was that?
[WHISPERING INAUDIBLY]
Oh, and lots of them.
Yeah,
especially on your seventh birthday.
Smooth, guys. Very smooth.	smooth(-talking) = good at persuading people. This word shows that you do not trust people like this.
[WHISPERING INAUDIBLY]
Oh, by the way,
we've decided on the two-headed nurse.
What a surprise.
Give me five.	Give me five! = used for asking someone to hit their open hand against yours, usually as a way of celebrating
Yeah.
Give me four.	ALF has FOUR fingers, so Brian can’t say “Give me five!”
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Eight hundred and fifty-six.
Eight hundred and fifty-seven.
Eight hundred and fifty-eight.
Eight hundred and fifty-nine.
Eight sixty.
Eight hundred and sixty-on... Hey.
Let me know
when you're gonna do that.
Excuse me, I just wanted to get
something out of the dryer.
Well, don't take the sheep.
I'm counting it.
Can't sleep, eh?
Not a wink.	not a wink = no sleep at all
Feel like chatting?	feel like doing smth = want to do smth
What is it, ALF?
I'm really depressed
about Brian's birthday.
Why? The two-headed nurse
is gonna be on the cake.
It reminds me of how I'll never have
another birthday with my friends.
ALF, you did have a lot of	you did have = you really had
birthdays with your friends.
You had 228.
Yeah, but that last one
was a real bummer.	bummer = something that is annoying or disappointing
- How come?	How come …? = used when you want to know why something has happened or why a particular situation exists: How come you’re not at work today?
- Well...
...for one thing, the planet exploded.	for one thing = used when mentioning one reason for something as an example, when there are several reasons: A lot of people don’t take the time to read contracts. For one thing, they’re often in very tiny print.
But it wasn't just that.
I was finally going to get together
with my true love:
Rhonda.
You know, I really should turn this off
before that sheep gets scorched.	scorched = burnt on the surface
- You don't want to hear this, do you?
- Sure I do. Tell me about Rhoda.
Rhoda?
Well, I thought she was funny
when she was on Mary's show...
...but when she got her own series,
they married her off too soon.	marry smb off = to find a husband or wife for someone: They tried to marry their daughter off to a wealthy businessman.
Weren't we talking
about your girlfriend?
Oh, Rhonda.
Yeah. What a knockout.	knockout = someone or something that is extremely attractive or impressive
Our very first date
was gonna be on my birthday.
The night your planet blew up.
That's right. I was brushed...	brush = make something clean or tidy using a brush brush your hair/teeth: She hadn’t bothered to brush her hair.
...and curried and ready for love.	curry comb = a special kind of comb for horses
Then word came:
"Orbit guards,
man your battle stations."	man = to provide a place, machine, or system with the people needed to operate it: We need someone to man the switchboard.
The rest is history.
Sayonara, Melmac	sayonara = the Japanese word for ‘goodbye’
and sayonara, Rhonda.
I'm sorry, ALF.
Thanks.
Well, goodnight, Willie.
Reminds me a little
of me and Marsha Shenkin.
I said, goodnight.
All right, tell me about
you and the Martian.	martian = an imaginary creature that lives on the planet Mars
Not the Martian.
Marsha. Marsha Shenkin...
...who was someone
I knew before I met your moth...	Willie is going to say “… before I met your mother” when he realizes he is not talking to Brian
Kate.
I had a really serious
crush on Marsha Shenkin.	have a crush on smb = have a feeling of love and admiration for someone, often someone you know you cannot have a relationship with: I used to have a massive crush on my geography teacher.
By the time I got the nerve up to ask her out...	get/have the nerve to do smth = have the ability to control your fear and remain determined when you are doing something difficult or dangerous
...she moved to Toledo.
- Uncanny.	uncanny = strange and mysterious
My planet blew up
and some girl you knew moved to Ohio.
- Good night, ALF.
- Good night, Willie.
One, two, three, four...
...five.
Hey, hey, hey, Stella.
So happy birthday, Gordo.
Thanks, Skipper.
Yeah, 228.
Hey, hey, you realize that you've spent
a third of your life sitting on your duff?	duff = the part of your body that you sit on
I haven't been sitting.
I've been doing research.
Yeah, right. The same kind
of research we all been doing:
Watching girls.
[LAUGHS]
I kill me.
Hey, hey, hey, Gordon,
you got a date later?	date = romantic meeting
Maybe, maybe not.
- He's got a date.
- He's got a date.
All right, who gets the chili cat?	On Earth, cats are usually kept as pets, while on Melmac they are usually served on lunch, breakfast or dinner.
Hey, over here, cutie.
Feline and fries, no gravy.	feline = cat
Right here.
Whisker omelet, tail on the side.	whiskers = long stiff hairs that grow near the mouth of some animals: The cat licked its whiskers. side dish = an amount of food served at the same time as the main course of a meal but on a separate plate
Yo.	Yo! = used for getting someone’s attention, or for greeting someone (informal)
Happy birthday, big boy.
Thanks.
I think she likes you, big boy.
Hey, hey, take a look at those gams.	gams = legs
She's got legs like a...
Like a Luna Lander.	Lunar Lander = a kind of spacecraft designed to conduct a moon landing
She's no Rhonda.
What about Rhonda?
Come on, who are you kidding?
That's who you got a date with.
All right. I've got a date with Rhonda.
Why are you making
such a big deal out of this?	big deal = important problem
Hey, it's no big deal.
[SINGING THE BEACH BOYS'
"HELP ME RHONDA"]
You know...
...I'm really gonna miss you guys if...
If anything ever happens.
What do you mean?
Like if what happens?
Oh, I don't know.
Like... Like, if the planet
ever exploded or something.
MELMACIAN [ON PA]:
Attention! Attention!
0rbit guards,
man your battle stations.
Nuclear devastation on its way.	devastation = damage or destruction affecting a large area or a lot of people
Oh, my gosh. I've gotta go.
Listen, if you see Rhonda, tell her I lo...
Don't tell her anything.
Hey, seeing he's gone,
pass me his omelet.
- ALF, wake up. Wake up.
- Ah!
- What's the matter?
- You were talking in your sleep.
You were shouting. You were singing.
What was I singing?
I don't know.
It was something by the Beach Boys.
"Little Deuce Coupe"?	Little Deuce Coupe = is a song by The Beach Boys about a car
No, it was that
one with "Rhonda" in the title.
Help me, Rhonda.	Help me, Rhonda = is a song by The Beach Boys
Help, help me, Rhonda.
Oh, yeah.
Rhonda.
Are you okay?
I don't think so, Willie.
Well, what's wrong?
Everything.
I wanna go home.
Just fluff them up.
Just a bit.
How's the temp, Lynn?	temp=temperature
Four-hundred-twenty-five degrees,	425 degrees Fahrenheit is 218 degrees Celsius
ALF.
Normal.
Normal's being on your own planet,
not here.
ALF, I know you miss
your friends and family...
...but we're your family now...
...and we'd do anything for you,
wouldn't we, Mom?
I think we are.
Any chance of reheating this soup?
My pleasure.
Oh, and you might want to run
a DustBuster over this couch.
I seem to be shedding.	shed = lose hair
ALF, I'm not going all the way out
to the garage to get the DustBuster.	a DustBuster is a handheld vacuum cleaner
Be realistic, Kate.
It's not gonna come to you.
ALF...
...I'm going to tell you something now...
...and I want you to listen to me.
Very carefully.
Let me get the DustBuster.
Now, I realize that you miss Rhonda
and that you're homesick...
...and people
that are sick are not themselves.
[BLOWING NOSE NOISILY]
They say things they don't mean...
...they act in ways they wouldn't...
[COUGHING]
...ordinarily act.
But if you ever talk to me like that
again, I'll punch your heart out.
Fair enough.	“Fair enough!” is used for saying that you understand and accept what someone says ‘She said she didn’t want to work for anyone else.’ ‘OK, fair enough.’
This is K726XAA Los Angeles.
Is there anyone out there
from the planet Melmac?
Hey, this isn't fair. We're in there
nursing a shedding alien...
...and you guys are out here having fun.
- No. We're not having fun.
We're trying to contact someone from Melmac.
Yeah, like,
maybe ALF's girlfriend Rhonda.
We thought if we could
contact another Melmacian...
...if ALF knew that he weren't
the last of his species...
...then maybe he'd cheer up.
Let's play it again, Dad.
[THE BEACH BOYS' "HELP ME RHONDA"
PLAYING ON TAPE]
Very scientific.
How was that?
It's a little hot...
...but I'm too weak to blow.
Would you mind?
Why don't we just set it down
and let it cool off.
Good idea.
And maybe you could
massage my feet while it cools.
Or not.
Maybe if you got off the couch...
...and walked on your feet,
you might feel better.
Walk?
I can hardly blink.
I'm exhausted.
How's it going in here?
[KATE GROANING]
[ALF MOANING]
Should I wait to do this?
Tomorrow would be better.
By then, I'll be completely bald.
That's usually the last stage before...
...the end.
- ALF.
Here...
...keep this somewhere in a safe place.
"Last will and testament.
[ALF COUGHING]
I, Gordon Shumway..."
Shumway?
Don't blab that around until I'm gone.	blab = to tell people about things that should be kept secret: “I didn’t think you’d go blabbing the story all over town.”
"...do hereby bequeath all of	bequeath = to give someone money or property after you die by making a legal document called a will bequeath something to someone: “She bequeathed her jewellery to her niece.” bequeath someone something: “His uncle bequeathed him £6,000.”
my worldly and cosmic goods."	“I do hereby bequeath…” is a typical beginning of a person’s will: “I do hereby bequeath all of my worldly belongings and assets to my immediate family and loved ones.”
- We made contact! We made contact!
- It's a Melmacian.
It's somebody named Skip.
Give me that.
And you never heard
the name Shumway.
SKIP [ON RADIO]: Hey, where'd
you guys go? I don 't have all day.
It's really him. It's Skip!
Skip, Skip, can you hear me?
Yeah, yeah, I hear you loud and clear.	loud and clear = clearly expressed and easy to understand: “The message from voters came across loud and clear.”
Who was I talking to before?
- Oh, that was one of the kids.
- Kids?
You got kids now?
Well, well, they're not mine.
I mean, I'm just living
with them and their parents.
Hi, Skip. I'm Brian.
Hi, kid.
I'm Willie and this is Kate.
Kate, say hi to Skip.
Hi...
...Skip.
Is everybody okay?
Have you heard from anyone else?
Well, Rick and Stella got married.
They opened up a
tanning parlor on Mercury.	tanning parlor = a tanning parlor (salon) is a place where customers or visitors can tan their skin by exposing themselves to special ultraviolet lamps.
Where are you?
I've got the hammer down
and I'm headed for Andromeda.
Give me your coordinates.
I'll do a fly by, pick you up tomorrow...	fly by = a flight past a point, especially the close approach of a spacecraft to a planet or moon for observation.
...about 7ish?	about 7ish = at about seven o’clock
Tomorrow? That's Brian's birthday.
Yeah! You can come
to my birthday party.
Sure. We'd love to have you,
wouldn't we dear?
Right.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
Skip, Skip,
can you maybe make it next week?
I hate to miss Brian's birthday...
...and Friday the transvestites
are back on Donahue.	Donahue Show (The Phil Donahue Show) also known as Donahue, is an American television talk show hosted by Phil Donahue that ran for 26 years on American national television.
Hey, I'm not running a bus service.
Do what you have to do.
But I know someone else
who's going to be really disappointed.
Rhonda.
Rhonda?
You've seen Rhonda?
Seen her? She's right here.
Hey, say something, sweetheart.
Hi, cutie.
[STAMMERING]
Rhonda.
Yes, Gordon, it's me.
I've missed you.
Yikes.	“Yikes!” is used as an expression of surprise or slight fear
What are you doing with Skip?
Not much.
You're the only one for me.
[WHIMPERING]
You mean that, Rhonda?
Cross my heart.	“Cross my heart (and hope to die)” is something that you say in order to emphasize that something is true: “I want to go to the party with you, not Sarah - cross my heart!”
Forget the transvestites.
See you tomorrow. Yeah!
Okay. There. There we go.
What do you think, Brian?
This is the worst day of my life.
Bri, we know how much
ALF means to you...
...but honey, he wants to be
with his old friends again.
I'm sure that he feels
just as bad about it as you do.
[ALF SINGING
"I'VE GOT THE WORLD ON A STRING"]
Oh. Am I interrupting something?
Not really. We were just hanging
up this happy-birthday sign.
Brian was about to cry.
Hey, come here, tiger. Willie, hold this.
Come here.
Look, try to understand.
If you were living
on Melmac with me...
...and you had a chance to
come back home to your family...
...you'd go, wouldn't you?
I'd never leave you, ALF.
This isn't going well.
No, it's not.
Brian, this is just something
I have to do...
...and I know that even though
you don't believe this...
...someday you're gonna understand.
Hey, Kate,
I don't suppose there's any chance...
...of taking Lucky with me, is there?
No.
All right, all right.
Willie, you better let him out of there.
Sorry, Lucky,
you would've liked Skip...
...and I know Skip would've liked you.
ALF, we thought you might want
some cake before you go.
Hey, that's me on that cake.
It's an ALF cake.
That's what Brian wanted.
I'm speechless.
Lynn, this is really nice of you.
Mom made it.
Kate? I didn't know you care.
Well, it was a mix.
Goodbye, ALF.
We'll never forget you.
ALF.
ALF...
...this has been an
incredible experience.
You've enriched our lives.
You've given us a chance
to learn from you.
Thank you, my friend.
So long, Willie.
Goodbye.
Come on, Katie, give us a hug.
Goodbye, ALF.
Good luck.
That's all you have to say?
It's a long trip.
If you have to use the bathroom,
now would be a good time.
I don't, but thanks for the concern.
Come on, Brian, give us a hug.
BRIAN:
Oh, ALF.
Happy birthday, kid.
I love you.
Yeah, me too.
Well, I'm in the wind.
Ciao.
Arrivederci.
Goodbye.
And goodnight, Mrs. Ochmonek...
...wherever you are.
It's so strange to have
food here and not have ALF.
Hey, B.
What do you say we have a piece of cake?
Not until the spaceship comes to pick up ALF.
Come on. Come on over here, son.
He's not even gone yet, and I miss him already.
He was so funny.
Remember the time he set the shower on fire?
I do.
I was in it.
I thought it was funny when he buried the couch.
I remember.
I was on it.
Remember the time he was helping change the tire...
...and he pulled the jack away from the car?	jack =  a piece of equipment used for lifting and supporting a heavy object, for example a car when you are changing a tyre
[LAUGHS]
I remember. I was under it.
We all have some wonderful memories.
He did keep things interesting.
You never knew what
he was going to say next...
...what he'd do next,
where he'd turn up.	turn up = appear
[ALF SPEAKS SPANISH]
LYNN: ALF!
- ALF! You're back.
ALF, what are you doing here?
Shouldn't you be on the roof?
I just wanted to give you your watch back.
It is my watch.
You know, Skip's gonna be by
to pick you up in just 30 seconds.
Well, look it, I forgot
to give Brian his birthday present.
Oh, that's so sweet.
Here you go, kid. Melmacian dice.
Every roll's a seven.
You're a winner.
Well, ALF, that's wonderful.
But you're gonna miss your ride.
There's just 13 seconds to go.
Hey, hey, hold it. Wait a minute.
Why is everyone trying
to give me the bum's rush here?	bum's rush = hurrying someone out of a place: “Bill got the bum's rush at the restaurant because he didn't have a tie on.”
I've still got a couple of things I wanna say.
- Ten seconds.
- Let me finish.
Now, I know that...
...I haven't always been
what you might call a model alien.	model = a model student, husband etc behaves in the way that a perfect student, husband etc would behave
You're stalling.	stall = if a process stalls, or if someone stalls it, it stops making progress
Stalling?
Stalling?
- Stalling?
- Stalling!
Are you saying I'm stalling?
You think I'd rather stay here with you guys than...
...sail across the cosmos
with Skip and...?
[SPACESHIP WHIRRING]
Rhonda?
You missed your ride.
Yeah, I guess I did.
He's staying! ALF's staying!
You gave up Rhonda for us?
She'll only want me more
after a couple of centuries.
But aren't you gonna miss her?
Yeah.
But...
...I guess what it boils down to is...	boil down to = to be the main reason for something or the most basic part of something
...I'd miss you more.
You love us that much?
Yeah, I guess I do.
We love you too, ALF.
We really do.
Let's not get maudlin.	maudlin = talking in a sad and emotional way that seems silly, especially when you are drunk
Welcome home, ALFmeister.
[SCRATCHING NOISE]
Say, what is that scratching noise?
What scratching noise?
- It's coming from your suitcase.
- What suitcase?
Lucky, you bad boy.
What are you doing in there?
I told him, no suitcase. No suitcase.
You know, ALF,
I've had mixed feelings about you.
But I realize that you just made
a big sacrifice to stay with us...	sacrifice = to give up something important or valuable so that you or other people can do or have something else
...and I'm really touched.
You had mixed feelings about me?
- A few.
- I had a few about you too.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
I still don't feel properly thanked
for saving you from that shower fire.
But we'll talk about that later.
Right now, I'm bushed.	bushed = really tired, exhausted
I'd like to go to the couch over
here and lie down for a few days.
Maybe have some soup.
Oh, and another big slab	slab = a large piece of food: a slab of eat/butter/chocolate “A man was eating a huge slab of pizza.”
of that ALF cake would be great.
Still didn't vacuum this, did you?
Skip, Rhonda, come back.