ALF. Season 1, episode 2 (uncut version)

Thursday, 6:30 pm.
It started out like any other night...
Meatloaf. The third time that week.	meatloaf is a baked dish consisting of minced meat moulded into the shape of a loaf.
But I digress.	digress = leave the main subject temporarily in speech or writing: I know I digressed from the subject of the article.
Here's what happened.
I was being my usual charming self...
spending some quality time with the Tanner lad.	lad = a boy or a young man
See, when you bend Missile Man's head this way... he becomes a communications satellite.
Well, I'm impressed.
See?
Yeah. What does Missile Man become when you bend him like this?
He becomes broken.
Whoops.
Sorry, B.
Lynn, we're gonna be late for the shower.	A shower (AE) is a party at which presents are given to someone, typically a woman who is about to get married or have a baby: bridal shower, baby shower.
Have anybody seen the yellow ribbon?
I don't know. What color is it?
Ha! Yeah!
I kill me.
Aha!
You kill me!
Brian, no arguments,  it's time to get ready for bed, okay?
Sorry, Alf, I guess we'll have to play later.
Obviously not with Missile Man.
Oh, wait, here's that ribbon.
But... it's wet.
I forgot to tell you.
You're out of floss.
Maybe there's  a chance I can find some ribbon without meat on it.
Not in that drawer.
I might have some meatless ribbon in the garage.
Forget a ribbon. A blender doesn't need ribbon.
Okay, you have Joanna's number, right?
We won't have any problem.
Brian's going to bed,
I've got a lot of reading to catch up on,	catch up on smth = do tasks which one should have done earlier: He normally used the afternoons to catch up on paperwork.
and I'm sure Alf will find something to do.
Make sure he doesn't.
I'll get it.
Hey, don't worry about the old Alfer.
Channel 9 is running "Psycho."	Psycho is a 1960 American horror film directed by Alfred Hitchcock.
Oh, by the way, we're out of popcorn.	be out of smth = not have (a particular thing): They have run out of cash.
I'll put it on the shopping list next to floss.	dental floss is a soft thread used to clean between the teeth.
No chance to run out now and get it, I suppose?
Right. I'll just see if I can scrounge a few kernels from the sofa.	scrounge = search kernel = the seed of a cereal, esp. wheat
Ready.
What do you think?
- I love that dress.
- Thanks.
Willie, we're leaving.
Hold on!	hold on = wait, stop
That was Herb, from the office.
The computer is down.	be down (of a computer system) = out of action or unavailable for use: The system went down yesterday.
He can't access the files.
I've got to go in and reload the back-ups.
You have to go now?
I've no choice. The budget's due tomorrow.
Honey, we can't leave Brian alone.
I'm here.
Well, maybe, I could take him with me.
It's a school night. He goes to bed in 10 minutes.	a school night is a night before a morning on which one must get up for school
I'll stay.
No, you can't, you're in the wedding party.
I'm not.
This is just great.
What are we going to do now?
Hello!
How about me?
For what?
To sit with Brian.
What do you think?
Do I think we should let an alien from outer space watch "psycho,"
while our son sleeps in the other room?
Hay, no problem, just leave me the keys to the liquor cabinet.	A liquor cabinet is a place where strong alcoholic drinks are kept.
Maybe we can get Mrs. Ochmonek to sit.
Good idea. I'll call her.
Nice to know I'm trusted around here.
ALF, ALF, ALF, when you ask for the keys to the liquor cabinet...
Hey, William. I was kidding.	kidding = joking
Ha-ha! I mean, don't you get it?	don't you get it = don’t you understand it?
Do you think I'd actually go near the liquor cabinet...
...or even take my eyes off the kid for a second?
Come on, get with it. These are the jokes, man.	To get with it means to understand, to comprehend something or someone.
The jokes...
...the jokes. Yeah. Oh.
[CHUCKLING]
I'm sorry. I guess I misunderstood.
I guess if we knew you were kidding...
Mrs. Ochmonek will be here in 5 minutes.
Thank god!
So, this is my prison for the night.
It's not a prison. It's our bedroom.
One man's bedroom is another man's prison.	An English proverb says: One’s man meat is another man’s poison = things liked or enjoyed by one person may be distasteful to another.
Well, there's plenty to keep you occupied...
We got magazines, this is a jigsaw puzzle.
It's broken.
That's the object.
You're supposed to put it together.
Why? I didn't break it!
Here's your favorite comic book...
"Shana, mistress of the universe."
I don't want Shana. I want Mrs. Bates.	Mrs. Bates is a character in Psycho, a horror film by Alfred Hitchcock
Alf, we'll run "Psycho" another night, Ok?
Now, if you can just promise that you can
stay completely away from Mrs. Ochmonek,	stay away from smb = not come close to smb
then maybe, in the future, we'll let you baby-sit.
Don't toy with my emotions, Willie.	toy with smth = play with smth
I'm not.
Look... Alf...
you think you can keep your end of this bargain?	keep your end of this bargain = to do what you promised
Mrs. "O" will never know I'm here.
I'll get it!
Oh, Alf!
Just kidding! Just Kidding!
C'mon, where's the fun around here?
Oh, you're a life saver, Mrs. Ochmonek.	life saver = a person or thing that gets someone out of a difficult situation
Please, it's Raquel!
And it's my pleasure.
Trevor's watching some stupid ball game, so this works out fine.	ball game = any game played with a ball, such as tennis or football
Channel 9 is showing "Psycho."
So I hear.	I hear means “I have information, I have been told” Is he leaving town? So I've heard. = So I hear.
Willy... have you been having trouble sleeping lately?
No, why?
Well far be it from me to pry,	far be it from me to do smth = something that you say when you are giving advice or criticizing someone and you want to seem polite: Far be it from me to tell you what to do, but don't you think you should apologize? pry = to be interested in someone’s personal life in a way that is annoying or offensive: I just glanced at the letter; I didn’t mean to pry.
but recently, it's seems your TV has been on awfully late.
You know, now that you mentioned it, I...
I really have had trouble sleeping lately.
I couldn't help but noticed how much garbage you've been putting out lately.	put out the garbage = put waste outside your house so that it can be collected and taken away
If I didn't know any better, I'd think you've been taking in boarders.	a boarder is someone who pays to live in a house as a guest of the family who owns it
You know how it is, when I can't sleep, ...I eat.
My Trevor is the same way.
Is this a new lamp?
Mrs. Ochmonek...
Mrs. Ochmonek...
I really have to go now.
Here's the number. I'll only be gone for couple of hours.
Don't worry about a thing.
Oh, and, please, please, stay out of the bedroom.	stay out of = do not come into
If you don't mind, it's... it's a... kind of a mess.
Whatever you say.
"Please stay out of the bedroom."
Who does he think I am, a snoop?	a snoop is someone who tries to get secret information about someone
Meanwhile, in the bedroom,
I was just finishing the jigsaw puzzle,
When I heard the haunting strains of the movie,	strains = sounds
I so desperately wanted to see.
I learned one thing about eating jigsaw puzzles.
An hour later, you're hungry again.
Yo! Pizza Barge.	Pizza Barge is the name of a local pizzeria
Yeah, I'd like to order one large special; The works; To travel.	the works = with everything on it; to travel = to go = to take away (not to eat in the restaurant).
167 Hemdale. Grazie.	grazie = “thanks” in Italian (Alf says it because pizzeria is Italian)
Oh, listen, can you leave it by the oak tree in the back yard?
I don't know, I'm superstitious.
I decided to go outside and wait for the pizza.
Big mistake!
Trevor, get over here quick!
I think there's somebody else in this house.
Trevor, what took you so long?
The Dodgers batted a round.	The Dodgers is a sports team
Now, what's so important, that I had to leave the game?
I think there's somebody else in this house.
I heard a scream.
Don't wake me up when you come home.
It wasn't the TV!
The scream I heard came from the back bedroom.
Maybe it was the cat.
No cat would scream like that.
Maybe it was in heat.	on/in heat (of a female mammal) = in the receptive period of the sexual cycle
It sounded like a human scream, and it came from this room!
All right, all right, I'm going in.
If I don't come back, you can start dating.	date = have a romantic relationship with someone
I already tried it, it's locked.
Now, it's open.
What are you, narrating this?
I'm scared. Willie even told me to stay out of this room.
Look in the bathroom.
Oh! For crying out loud!	Oh for crying out loud! This phrase is used to express frustration, or annoyance: Oh! For crying out loud, get off the computer! You've been on there for ages!
Hey!
Trevor, what is it?
They got one of those cushioned toilet seat!	cushioned = covered in smth soft
Let's get one Raquel. I'm tired of living in the dark ages.
Just check the window, will you!
There, it's locked!
Now, if you don't mind I'm going to watch the Dodgers blow a big lead.	lead = the first position in a competition or a game
As for me, my only thought was to get back to my room, and rake myself.	rake
A light snack would hold me over until the pizza came.
Unfortunately, Lucky had the same idea.
Pizza Barge!
One super Sicilian.
That's me!
Here's your pizza.
Sorry, I couldn't leave it by a tree, it's against company policy.
I don't understand.
You see, the last time we left one by a tree, a squirrel died.
No, I mean, I didn't order a pizza and I refuse to pay for it.
Lady, it's already paid for; house account.
Oh, in that case...
What about my tip?	tip = a small amount of money that you give to someone in addition to what you owe for a service
Here, is this enough?
Sure, in some states I can still make a phone call.
"In some states I can still make a phone call."
Trevor, did you order a pizza and have it sent over here?
What are you talking about?
Well, the strangest thing just happened.
A pizza arrived already paid for.
Are you telling me you got a pizza there?
That's right.
I'll be right over.	be over / come over = visit
It's gone!
Trevor you're not gonna believe this, but it's gone.	gonna = going to
What's gone?
The pizza!
You didn't even leave me a slice?
I didn't eat it. It disappeared.
Trevor, something is going on in this house...
the noises and the screams!
And this pizza thing!
What are you talking about, there's a pizza over there on the counter.
Well, I'll be go to the market, it's back.	I'll be go to the market is Raquel’s phrase to show surprise and astonishment (see http://goo.gl/i8f1Kd)
I'll be go the market?
Yes, it's back.
Delicious!
It could be a little hotter.
Trevor can't you stay here and watch the game? I don't want to be alone.
Take it easy, Raquel.
I haven't seen you this bad since the eclipse.	eclipse is a short period when all or part of the sun or moon becomes dark, because of the positions of the sun, moon, and earth in relation to each other
Fine! The you tell me where the pizza went.
I'll do better than that.
I'll tell you where it's going.
I had done everything I could think of to pass the time.	to pass the time = to do something that makes a period of time seem shorter and end more quickly, especially when you are bored
One thing was certain, blue was not my color.
Hello!
What are you doing, answering the phone?
I live here.
Where's Mrs. Ochmonek?
She lives next door.
I know she lives...
Where is she now?
I don't know. The last time I saw her, she was giving away my pizza.
Pi...
I called to speak to Mrs. Ochmonek.
Just a minute I'll get her.
No! Don't move out of that room!
I'll call back.
It's your dime.	It's your dime. When receiving an unwanted telephone call, the phrase is used to remind the caller that they are paying for the call (you're paying for this, you know) a dime is a 10-cent coin in the US
Kids...
Hello!
Why do you keep answering the phone?	keep doing smth = do smth all the time
You keep calling.
Is everything all right?
Everything's fine...
and the cat is going to be okay.
The cat?
What happened to the cat?
I closed the refrigerator door on his tail.
What! What were you doing in the kitchen?
Well I had to break in the back door after I fell out the window.	break in = to enter a building by force
Where are you now?
What are you doing?
I'm in the bedroom wearing a blue dress.
Don't move from that spot!
Where would I go? I don't have the right shoes.
I'm coming home.
I should have locked him in the garage!
Kids!
Brian, is that you?
Yeah.
Trevor. Get over here quick.
Forget about it, Raquel. I'm not putting my pants back on.
But I think I saw somebody in the bushes.
Maybe it was another pizza.
Operator, this is an emergency!
What's the number for 911?
And then, it happened.
He came into my life.
At first, I thought it was Santa-Claus.
Then, it soon dawned on me...	if something dawns on you, you realize it for the first time
Santa probably wouldn't smell of cheap wine.
Besides, he was beginning to fill up his bag,
with stuff that didn't belong to him.
I was scared stiff, but I knew I had to do something.	scared stiff/scared to death (=extremely scared): I’m scared stiff of having the operation.
I realized, for that moment, I was the man of the house.
Excuse me, sir. May I have a word with you?	May I have a word with you? It is a polite phrase meaning “Can I talk to you?”
Who said that?
I did.
Can you take some constructive criticism?
What you're doing here is, wrong.
It must be one of them talking dolls.
Oh, yeah!
Ever have a talking doll rip out your voice box?	rip out = destroy or seriously damage something voice box = the part of your throat from which you produce sounds
Mrs. Ochmonek. Don't swing. It's me.	swing = try to hit someone or something by making a smooth curving movement with your hand, a weapon, or a piece of sports equipment
Oh, Mr. Tanner thank god you're home!
This evening has been a nightmare.
So I heard.
No, no, Mrs. Ochmonek...
I don't know what's going on here?
I hope that police will get here soon.
Police?
Weird things have been going on in this house all night.
Especially in your bedroom!
Lynn, take Mrs. Ochmonek in the kitchen and give her some tea.
Okay, mom. Come on Mrs. Ochmonek, would you prefer herbal or regular?
I'd prefer scotch.
So, how was the shower?
What in the world?	in the world = used for general emphasis: There’s nothing in the world we can do about it. We have all the time in the world.
Alf, what are you doing in my dress?
Sorry, I thought it was Lynn's.
You've really done it this time.
Any semblance of faith or trust I had in you is gone.	semblance = a small amount
I can explain.
What could you possibly say that would
explain what happened in this house tonight?
Tonight, I set a thief on the straight and narrow.	the straight and narrow = the right and moral way to behave or to do something: He’s making an effort to get back on the straight and narrow.
What are you talking about?
Willy my jewelry box is missing!	is missing = is not here, is gone
So are my good gold cuff links.
And my good watch!
And my antique cameo!
Where are they?
Probably being pawned.	A pawnbroker is someone whose job is to lend money to people in exchange for a valuable object that they can sell if the person does not return the money. The shop they work in is also called a pawnbroker, or a pawnbroker’s. Stolen things are often pawned.
Wait a minute, look!
There really was a thief in this house tonight, wasn't there Alf?
Two of them.
One took your jewels; the other took my pizza.
The police are here.
What'd you do, Alf?
Sure, blame the guy in the dress.
Don't make a sound. Stay right here.
And take off that dress!
Alright, but I feel only fair to warn you,
I'm not wearing anything underneath.
Mr. and Mrs. Tanner... we're responding to your call.
Can you identify this property?
- That's my jewelry box.
- Those are my cuff links.
This man chased our car for two
blocks, claiming he'd stolen this merchandise.	merchandise = things, goods
I did. I Swear I did. I deserve the maximum penalty.	penalty = punishment
Relax, pal.	pal = friend
If you come down to the station and fill out a report,
you can reclaim your property, if you want it.	reclaim = to get something back that someone has taken from you
Yes, we do.
Fine. Let's go.
Ask him. You said you'd ask him. Now, ask him.
This man claims he saw some hideous creature... with a huge nose.	hideous = very ugly or frightening in appearance
Wearing a blue dress.
He says it talked to him.
It did. I swear it did.
Thank you, Lynn. I think I'll be going home, now.
Excuse me.
Well, at least he can't plead insanity.	plead = mention smth as an excuse for doing something insanity = very severe mental illness
Good night.
Willie!
I know what you're thinking.
But we got through it.
Everything's all right.
Everything's back to normal.
Hey, could somebody unzip me in here?	unzip = to open a piece of clothing or a bag by pulling a zip