ALF. Season 1, episode 1 (uncut version)

This is the way it began that extraordinary night; the night "he" came.

Let me just shut this thing off.
shut off = turn off; switch off
What's that noise?

Oh, my gosh!
my gosh! = an expression of surprise, astonishment
It's the infrared radio band.

I've locked in to something in space; a pulsar or a satellite.
to lock in on smth; lock onto smth: to automatically follow (a target)
Hello? Hello?

This is K-7-2-6-X-A-A.

Can you read me?
to read = to hear and understand, esp when using a two-way radio, e.g. We are reading you loud and clear.
They're answering, but I don't recognize the language.

Why don't you just shut it off?

I can't.

I can't control it. It's locked in the signal.

Willie, look.

What's that?

Oh, my gosh!

It can't be!

What happened to the lights?

Daddy, what's that thing in the sky?

What's going on?

It's closing in fast.
to close in = to advance on a target so as to block escape, e.g. The police closed in on the sniper.
I think we better...

We... we have a visitor.

Here he comes!

Here he comes!

Brian, stay with me.

My gosh, it's hairy!



Let's put it over here.

Not on the couch!

Lynn, clear off the coffee table.

Quick, it's heavy.

Heavy and hairy!

I can't believe it.

What do you think it is?

A real alien!

Willie...

Willie what is it?

I don't know.

Brian's right.

It's an Alf.

What?

An Alf.

An A-l-f.

That's short for "Alien life form."
short for sth = an abbreviation of: Ed is short for Edward.
Can Alf stay in my room?

No!

This thing is not staying in...

It's not staying!

Why not? E.T. got to stay.
E.T. was a movie. This is real.

This is on our coffee table.

This is incredible; Truly amazing.

After all those years of wondering, and hoping... that it might be possible to contact alien life... to have this happen, it's a miracle.



It's the fulfilment of a lifelong dream.

We got to get rid of it!
to get rid of sth = to throw away, to dispose of
Absolutely.

We don't know anything about it.

It could be dangerous.

It could be diseased.

It could be hostile,
hostile = unfriendly
Or have hostile friends or acquaintances.

It could be anything.

We better report it to the authorities.
What if the authorities do something to it?

Yeah, what if they poke needles in it?
to poke = to push
No, they wouldn't poke needles in it.

Would they, Willie?

Well, they could.

I don't think they would, but they could.

And they might.

It's exciting, but there's any alternative.

We've got to report this!

What other choice do we have?

Aagh.

Ah, can I make a suggestion?

Sure, why not?

Well, if it's not too much trouble, how about fixing my spaceship?

Hello!

Read my lips.
Read my lips = pay close and careful attention to what I am saying


It talks.

It's heavy, it's hairy and it talks.

Good. Now how about fixing my spaceship... so I can get my heavy, hairy body out of here?

I’m not sure... I can fix your spaceship.

I mean, not tonight, not in the dark.

Yeah, you could use a light in that driveway.
driveway = a drive in front of someones house
I've been meaning to put one out there,

But you know how it is.

You get busy with one thing and another.

- Willie!

- I’m sorry, it seems so human!

Hey, there's no need for name calling.
I don't think we should get too friendly, Willie.

She's right.

Let's have a snack now.

We'll get friendly later.

Snack?

What kind of snack?

You got a cat?

You eat cats?

You can't eat Lucky.

No cat eating.

Not in this house.

All right, all right.

How about a cat-food can?

I could use the roughage.


Can we give Alf a can, mom?

Please?

Please?

All right.

A dented one.
a dented can:
C'mon, Alf.

We're going with you.

That is amazing.

Isn't that amazing?

Willie, will you come down to earth for a minute?
to come down to earth = to become realistic
An alien being has come to live with us,

And eat our cans and snack on our cat.

Yeah, this will do fine.

All right. Just give me one day, okay?

If I can't get Alf going,
get him going = here: send him (home); get him moving
We'll tell somebody.

Just one day.

Okay.

He's quick!

I'll give him that.
I'll give him that = I really think so, I have to agree; I have to admit (that he is quick).
'Morning.
'Morning.

Willie!

Willie!

What's going on out there?

Nothing.

Just screaming.

Move out of the way.

No problem.

Let me put it this way, Willie.

I don't think this is going to work out.
work out = to prove effective or successful
I'll take care of it.

Everything's fine.

Everything's under control.

Interesting concept.

Please, come away from there.

Come on!

Over here by me.

We've a little problem here to discuss.

Boy, you're blind as a bat, aren't you?
blind as a bat = Quite blind. For example,
Without my glasses I'm blind as a bat.
Would you give those to me, please.

No problem.

You must understand that.

Kate is very nervous about this.

Absolutely.

Who's Kate?

My wife.

Oh, yeah. She snores.

She doesn't snore.

You calling me a liar?

You just keep your distance, all right?

And try to be considerate.
considerate = thoughtful towards other people; kind
No problem.

That is not considerate!

That is the opposite of considerate!

That is inconsiderate!
inconsiderate = not showing care or thought for others
Look, let's just...

Let's just settle down here.
to settle down = to become calm or quiet
Let's just take this one step at a time.

There's no need for you to shave.

You look fine.

I want to do everything you do.

You're my idol.

I’m going to take a shower now.

Count me in.
count in = include, e.g. If you're going to the beach, count me in.
I'd like to take it alone, thank you.

Okay. Just don't use all the hot water.

Do you mind?

Never saw a thing.

And stay away from the window.

We've got a very nosy neighbor, Mrs. Ochmonek.

"Ochmonek." Sounds like a typo.
typo = a typographical error
Just don't let her see you.

She might turn you in.
turn sb in = to inform on or deliver up, e.g. She promptly turned him in to the police.

Trevor, is there such a thing as a cross... between a kangaroo and an aardvark?
a cross between (two animals) = a mixing of two breeds
an aardvark = a large, nocturnal, burrowing mammal, Orycteropus afer,  of central and southern Africa, feeding on ants and termites and having a long, extensile tongue, strong claws, and long ears.
http://www.zooborns.com/.a/6a010535647bf3970b0115724e3b75970b-800wi
Ah, stop putting yourself down.
put sb down = to criticize, humiliate or embarrass
I’m not talking about me, I’m talking about that thing... staring at me from that bathroom window.

What?

I don't see nothing.

It was there a second ago.

I think it was shaving.

Yeah, right, and I’m Sean Penn.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sean_Penn
Towel.

You talking to me?

Yeah, would you hand me something to dry off with, please.

You got it.

Will this do the trick?
do the trick = do / turn the trick, to achieve the desired effect or result, e.g. Another turn of the pliers should do the trick.

No problem.

Yeah, how you doing up there, William?

Frankly, I could use a little help.

I don't know much about this thing.

Me either.

I just turn the key and it goes.

I'll get the wrench, dad.
wrench:
- Lynn, do you happen to have a phone here?

- No, why?

K-L-V-Z, "Bonus tune."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KLVZ
15th caller wins a new Porsche.

Oh wait, forget it.

Must be a licensed driver.

- Wrench, please.

- I’m a licensed driver.

Quick, what's the name of the tune?

Wrench, please!

"Born in the U.S.A."

No wonder I didn't know it.

I'll call.

- Wrench!

- What's the phone number?

Area code, 311-555-98...

Wrrr-ench!

4-5.

Sorry, dad.

Thank you.

Alf, I think you better make contact... with your people.

I have tried.

I've tried again and again.

It's an exercise in futility.
futility = ineffectiveness; uselessness
Let's face it.

I’m trapped here!

I'll never see the purple side of my planet again!

Too dramatic?

- Look, if you not gonna help...

- I’m out of here.

- If you need me, i'll be in the house.

- We won't need you.

I'll still be in the house.

Yo! Lucky, my man.

So, kids, which one of these things is not like the other?

Do you get "Sesame street" where you live?
http://www.sesamestreet.org/
No, and frankly I don't get it here, either.
I don't get it here, either.
If you said, "It was the cow riding on the subway," you're absolutely right.

Brilliant! This and the letter "I" in one day.

I've got to get something to drink.

Me, too.

Where are you two going?

We've got to get something to drink.

We're parched.
parched = absolutely thirsty
Okay, but... No soda pop, and nothing to eat before dinner.
soda pop = a carbonated, flavored, and sweetened soft drink
- Yes, ma'am.

- Yes, ma'am.

Geez, what's with the warden?
Geez = Jesus! (en axpression of surprise, disappointment, etc)
I said no soda pop.

It's not soda pop.

It's beer.

You're about out of coors.
to be out of smth = to have nothing left
coors = a beer brand
What?

Give those to me!

Hey, careful. His is still full.

Now you just listen to me, Alf.

I will not allow this kind of behavior in my house.

This boy is only 6 years old, he is not to drink beer and you're not to drink beer.

I don't know what it's like on "Mork",

Or whatever planet you come from...

Melmac.

What?

Melmac.

That was the name of my planet.

It's also what it was made out of.

What do you mean, "was"?

Well, you see that's the thing, Kate.

Uh, ma'am.

Melmac's history.

Are you trying to tell me... that you can't go back to Melmac?

It exploded.

This was my street.

Now, if Willie fixes my ship, I suppose I could start a new life somewhere else... on some desolate, crater-filled asteroid, and spend the rest of my life fending off gamma rays.

desolate = solitary, lonely
fend off = to protect oneself against sth
No, Alf. no.

We want you to stay here with us, don't we, mom?

Brian, please try to understand.

Hey, the kid wants me to stay.

Alf, do you mind?

Oh, yeah, no problem.

We can't hide Alf forever, and I can't go on like this; watching him every moment, wondering what he's going to do next.

But he'll be good.

He won't break the rules anymore.

Will you, Alf?

Cross my heart!
Cross my heart! = I promise! (used esp among children)
How you doing, Lucky?

See? No problem.

Oh, no.

Who could that be?

I don't know.

Don't answer it, mom, please.

Brian, I’m going to answer the door.

- No!

- Yes!

It’s probably just Mrs. Ochmonek, but even if it's not...

It's not!

What?

It's not Mrs. Ochmonek,

Unless she's just joined the army.

It is a military man.

What if he wants to take Alf away?

I don't know, Brian.

But if that's why he's here for, and if I decide that's the right thing to do, you'll just have to understand. Okay?

Yes, mom.

We gave at the office.

Alf!

Did you fix the spaceship?

I’m sorry. I couldn't do it.

I don't have the right parts.

Ball's in your court.
Ball's in your court. = it is up to you to make the next decision or step
- Mrs. Tanner?

- Yes.

I’m Darnell Valentine... with the alien task force stationed at Edwards.

- 'Mind if I come in?

- Yes, I do.

Fine with me.

Mrs. Tanner, we've received an anonymous tip... that you might be harboring a space creature.
a tip = a piece of private or secret information
to harbour = to give shelter to: to harbour a criminal
A space creature?

Yes. Hairy, about 3 feet tall.

Is he considered dangerous?

Hard to tell until we get it into the lab.

And ah, what would you do with him... if you did get him, you know, in the lab?

Oh, the usual battery of tests.
a battery = any large group or series of related things: a battery of questions.
We'll see how he responds to intense heat, freezing cold, high voltage, toxic substances, pain, sleep deprivation, inoculation, that's needles, and of course, dissection.

to inoculate = to introduce (microorganisms, esp bacteria) into (a culture medium)
to dissect = to cut open and examine the structure of (a dead animal or plant)
Why don't you just... pull its toenails out?

You didn't let me finish.

Don't bother.

We are not harboring any space creatures.

Fine. Thank you.

Have a nice day.

Excuse me, sir, could you tell us who gave you our name?

As I told Mrs. Tanner, that information... is strictly Ochmonek, uh, anonymous.

Good bye.

Thanks, mom.

Thanks, mom.

Yeah, thanks, mom.

I love this woman.

Let see if I can get this thing going.
get this thing going = make it work
Pull these here.

The Melmac touch.

Hello? Anybody there? Yo! Calling anybody from Melmac. Hello? Skip? Larry? Muffy? It's Gordon.

Look, I don't know if you can hear me, but I just wanted to let you know I’m okay.

I’m living with what they call, "a family." They're sort of like a herd, only smaller.
herd = a large group of animals of the same kind that live together
There's this guy named, Willie, and he's got a good heart and lots of smarts... for someone without fur.
smarts = intelligence
Then there's his wife, Kate.

Oh, oh, and hey, dig this... her hair is the same color as mine... only hers is natural.
dig this = take notice of this, see!
Yeah, and they've got these two terrific kids... who both idolize me.

So, so you know they're okay.

But... I wanted to tell you something. I... I really miss all of you. And... the thought of never seeing you again... sort of breaks my heart. So... you know, if you could,

try to get in touch with me, or better yet, come by. And... I’ll introduce you to these lovely people.

And then we could eat their cat.

So, the droid says to the "cranble"... to tell you the truth, I’d feel better... if she lived another 6 light years away.

I think that really was amusing; "6 light years away." I guess you had to be there.

I was!

I hate to be a black cloud, but what do we do with Alf... when Lynn has her pajama party next week?

pajama party = a social gathering typically of teenagers held at the home of one of them for the purpose of sleeping there overnight
That's right.

Hay, no problem. I wear a size 5, but nothing with feet in it!
see explanation here
Oh, I've got a zillion of them.
zillion = a very large number
Here's another one you won't like.

These two space travelers are going through Andromeda, and they run into a space patrol. He was a rookie, now remember this it's important for the end of the story...
run into = meet accidentally

rookie = an inexperienced person or newcomer, esp a raw recruit in the army

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