ALF. Season 1, episode 6 (uncut version)

Oops.
Well, it can't be perfect.
It's only toothpaste.
Kate, Willie. You can come out now.
KATE:
Be right there.
ALF [SINGING]: Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary
Happy, happy, happy, happy
Happy anniversary
Happy, happy, happy, happy
Happy anniversary
Cut, cut. Could you...?	cut = stop
What's going on here?
The lyrics too complicated?
Happy anniversary.
Yeah.
Well, ALF, this is all very nice, but...
Yes, thank you, thank you.
But the... The only problem is...
Problem schmoblem.
Sit down and relax.
The old ALFer is doing it all tonight.
- ALF...
- The cooking, the serving, the cleaning.
Of course, once you two
get into the bedroom...
...you're on your own.
Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.	nudge, nudge, wink, wink = used as a way of saying indirectly that something involves sex nudge = push
What's going on?
Oh, looks like the old ALFer...
...is throwing us a surprise anniversary party.	throw a party = organize a party
Just a little informal nothing.
Lobster pâté?	pâté = a soft food made from meat, fish, or vegetables that you spread on bread
I thought you two were	pâté
going out tonight.
What?
That's what we were trying to tell you.
We have plans.
- We're going to see Nicholas Nickleby.	Nicholas Nickleby = a book by Charles Dickens. Kate and Willie are going to see a play based on the book.
- And the tickets were very hard to get.
KATE: We appreciate all
the trouble you've gone to. I mean...
...cutting roses
so they look like radishes.
And making pâté,
and very good pâté too.
What...? What's in it? Let me guess.
There's lobster, there's sour cream...
...but there's something else.
Play-Doh.	Play-Doh = is a modeling compound used by young children for art and craft projects at home and in school. Composed of flour, water, salt, boric acid, and mineral oil
That's it.	Play-Doh
The fluorescent kind.
I wanted it to be special.
I'm just going to go brush my teeth.
ALF, if you'd told us about this earlier
we might have been able...
...to change our plans, but...
- Hey, it's okay.
We'll just celebrate your anniversary
without you.
What do you say, Lynn?
It'll just be you, me and Brian.
Sure.
I'm not hungry, but it sounds like fun.
- Ready, Mom.
- Brian, party tonight.
Be there or be square.	Be there or be square = attend or be at some event or place or be considered uncooperative or not "with it.": There's a bunch of people going to be at John's on Saturday. Be there or be square.
I can't. I'm sleeping over at Scott's tonight.	sleep over = sleep at someone else’s house for one night: Mum, can Billy sleep over on Saturday?
His turtle died, and we're gonna
flush him down the toilet.	flush smth down (the toilet) = get rid of something by putting it into a toilet and flushing it
You're gonna skip a party
to flush a turtle?
I get to pull the handle.	get to = have the opportunity or be able or allowed to do something: Did you get to visit the Louvre when you were in Paris? Her brothers went out a lot, but Lisa never got to go.
[CAR HORN HONKS]
That's Scott's mom. I gotta go.
Give me a kiss.
Bye-bye.
BRIAN: Bye.
So, Lynn,
looks like it'll be tea for two.	tea for two = is a song performed by Doris Day.
Hey, Mom,
if I don't have to babysit Brian...
...then I can go to Julie's house, right?
Oh, I guess so.
What's she flushing?
Nothing.
She just broke up with her boyfriend and	broke up with = if two people break up, they end their relationship: He’s just broken up with his girlfriend.
needs someone to eat ice cream with.
Why don't you just invite her here?
- ALF.
- Oh, yeah, right.
It's the old "if someone sees the alien
they'll turn him in" excuse.	turn him in = tell the police about someone, or to take them to the police, because they have committed a crime: His own brother turned him in.
It's beginning to wear a little thin.	wear thin = if something such as a feeling or explanation wears thin, it becomes gradually weaker or harder to accept: After 50 pages, the reader’s patience starts to wear thin.
I'll bring you some ice cream.
Think you could buy me off with food?	buy smb off (with smth) = pay someone to stop threatening you or blackmailing you
Make it rum raisin.	make it = let it be rum raisin = a type of ice cream
LYNN: I'll see you after the play.
- Okay, honey.
- Bye-bye, love you.
- Love you too. Have a great time.
Happy anniversary.
Looks like it's just me
and the coquilles St. Jacques.	coquilles St. Jacques = scallops with mushrooms & white wine
KATE: I'm sorry, ALF.
I think I got most of it.
My teeth aren't glowing, are they?
Willie, Lynn went over to a friend's house.
I didn't think about whether
we should leave ALF by himself.
Did I mention the fondue flambé?	fondue flambé = a type of dessert with strawberries and chocolate
I don't see why we shouldn't trust him.
And the sizzling fajitas?	sizzle = to make the sound of food cooking in hot oil: sausages sizzling in the pan sizzling fajitas = a Mexican dish
I guess we should stay.
These tickets cost $ 100 apiece.	apiece = each
He'll be fine.
- You're really going, huh?
- We'll be back right after the play.
Yeah, eight hours of Dickens?
Take a pillow.
I saw it on PBS, it's unwatchable.	unwatchable = impossible to watch
And the guy who plays
Wackford Squeers...	Wackford Squeers = a fictional character, the cruel headmaster of Dotheboys Hall in the novel Nicholas Nickleby
...sounds like he's from Brooklyn!
And I'll tell you another thing.
Guess who Smike's father	Smike = a character in the novel Nicholas Nickleby
turns out to be?
Ralph Nickleby. Ha!	Ralph Nickleby = a character in the novel Nicholas Nickleby
Have a good time.
Yo, Lucky.
You busy?
Feel like shooting the breeze?	feel like doing smth = want to do smth shoot the breeze = spend time talking about unimportant things
Probably on the phone with his friends.
DR. SCHROCK: I'm Dr. Laura Schrock
and we're back with Jody on the line.
- Are you still there?
JODY: I'm here, Dr. Schrock.
DR. SCHROCK: Jody, what do you think
is the cause of your loneliness?
JODY: Well, for one thing,
Los Angeles seems so overwhelming.	overwhelming = much larger, stronger, more important etc than anything else in a situation
Moving here was like
moving to a different planet.
I can relate.	I can relate = I can understand you and feel sympathy
I'm just so afraid of rejection.
People react funny when they find out
I'm not like them.
I can relate to that too.
DR. SCHROCK:
Sometimes you have to risk being hurt...
... if you want things to change.
Put yourself out there, Jody.	put yourself out = make a considerable effort; go to trouble or expense.
You'll find a friend.
Hey, Jody, you like redheads?	redheads = people with red hair
JODY: Thanks for listening, Dr. Schrock.
Sometimes it's important
just to have a person to talk...
DR. SCHROCK: Yeah. Stay on the line.
We have a pass to Magic Mountain	pass = ticket Magic Mountain is a theme park in California
for you.
0ur number, once again, is 555-4455.
We'll be right back after this message.
555-4455.
Hello? Hi, hi, this is ALF.
Yeah, let me speak to Jody.
Jody, that emotional basket case	basket case = an insulting word for someone who is unable to do anything because they are too nervous or upset
that was talking a minute ago.
Why not?
Well, can you give her my number?
Yeah, it's 555-8531.
Tell her she found a friend.
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello?
Yeah. Yeah, this is ALF.
Oh, Jody.
Nice of you to call.
Yeah, hold on a second.
Jody, what's up, babe?	What's up = What’s the matter?
No, no.
"Subtract" means to take away.
"Plus" means to add.
The shot is up and it's good.	the shot is up is a basketball term
Three points.
ALF, in polite society, one doesn't
cut one's toenails in the living room.
Why not?
Because it causes one
to barf up one's dinner.	barf = vomit (when food comes up from your stomach and out through your mouth because you are ill)
Go on.
- Just don't do it.
- Fine.
[PHONE RINGS]
Oh, hey, get that, will you?
It's probably Jody.
If it's Jody, why don't you get it?
What if it isn't?
I'll get it.
Hello?
It's Jody.
- Who?
- Jody.
I know. I just like to hear the sound of her name.
- Who is it?
- It's Jody!
- I just asked.
- I'm sorry. It's just this Jody business.
Oh, I know.
It's getting a little out of hand.	get out of hand = not well controlled
Yeah, hold on a second, Jodester.
Could you all step out on the porch
for a few minutes?
I'd like some privacy.
Why don't you use the kitchen phone?
No problem.
Just hang up when I tell you.
I don't know about this.
This is the third time
they've spoken today.
I think it's nice that ALF has a friend
outside the family.
ALF:
Hang up, now!
I just wonder where this relationship
is going to lead.
- Who says it has to lead anywhere?
- Is ALF gonna get married?
No, he's not go...
Why, have you heard something?
ALF: Ha, ha! Oops.
Oh, don't worry about it, Jodester.
It's just a gravy boat.	gravy boat = a container used for pouring gravy a gravy boat
I'll talk to you later.
Nobody walk barefoot in the kitchen.	barefoot = without any shoes or socks on
BRIAN: How's the Jodester?
- Terrific.
We have so much in common.
We both love cats.
Of course,
I like mine with a side of fries.	side (side dish) = food served at the same time as the main course of a meal but on a separate plate
[LAUGHS]
Oops. Love has made me a klutz.	klutz = someone who often drops things or has accidents
ALF, you know,
we're all really happy...
...that you found a friend
outside the family, but...
- Yeah, I can't wait to meet her.
- Meet her?
Mm-hm. Didn't I tell you?
- We have a date tomorrow.
- A date?
- ALF, you can't go out on a date.
- Why not?
- Have you looked in a mirror lately?
- No, mine's broken.
Oh, by the way, don't walk barefoot
in the laundry room either.
ALF, uh...
If you go out with Jody,
someone will see you.
No, they won't.
I'm going to Jody's place.
- But Jody will see you.
- That's where I lucked out.	luck out = be lucky
Jody's blind.	blind = unable to see. Some people prefer to use the expression visually impaired
- Blind?
- Blind.
ALF...
...you can't go out with her.
- Because she's blind?
- Yeah, Mom.
Because she's blind?
This has nothing to do
with her being sightless.	sightless = not able to see, a synonym for ‘blind’
Say the word, Kate. She's blind.
Her blindness isn't the problem.
Then, what is the problem?
Yeah, Mom? What do you have
against the Jodester?
Brian, don't you have
some homework to do?
- It can wait.
- No, it can't.
Yes, Mom.
ALF, we don't have anything
against Jody.
- Great. Can I borrow the car?
- No.
I won't let Jody drive.
But what happens
when Jody starts asking questions...
...like where you came from?
- She already knows. Cincinnati.
- Cincinnati?
ALF: Mm-hm.
- What else did you tell her?
- Everything.
I told her about my business,
wholesale band equipment...	wholesale = selling large quantities of goods, especially to people who are going to sell them in a shop
...and my two lovely children.
- Your children?
- The twins.
From my brief marriage
to Cathy Rigby.
ALF, I think it was wrong to lie to her.
I know, but what else could I do?
But, eventually,
Jody's gonna learn the truth.
Not if Cathy Rigby
keeps her mouth shut.
ALF, seeing Jody at all
is much too dangerous.
You know it and we know it.
So, what you're saying is...
...I can't have any friends.
ALF, you have lots of friends.
I'm your friend.
- Brian's your friend.
- I'm your friend.
See, you have lots of friends.
Uh, uh, including me.
Yeah, just no friends
outside the family.
[WILLIE SIGHS]
If you need me, I'll be in my room.
Alone again, naturally.
[DISH CLATTERING]
I'd clean it up, but I'm too depressed.
Well, Mr. Ginsberg,
I guess it's just you and me.
What do you wanna do?
Sing?
Play charades?
Go to a sock hop?	sock hop = a social dance at which participants dance in their socks
[LAUGHING]
Oh, no.
I've killed my only friend.
Hey, ALF.
Excuse me.
Yes, what?
ALF, how would you like...
That's my sock.
- Dad.
- Oh, right.
ALF, how would you like to go outside,
throw around the old Frisbee?	Frisbee a frisbee
- The old what?
- The old Frisbee.
Here, I'll show you how it goes.
I guess I'm not in the mood.
We're just trying to cheer you up.	cheer smb up = make smb happier
I don't need cheering up. I'm happy.
I've got my cot...	cot = a small bed with high sides that a baby sleeps in
...my washer-dryer combo...
...and I'm talking to socks.
Okay, okay.
If you wanna play, though,
we'll be right outside.
Fine.
- Brian better wear a face mask.
- I'll be right out.
ALF.
- I hate seeing you like this.
- I hate to be like this.
I feel like Streaky Mclntosh.
- Streaky who?
- Mclntosh.
Back on Melmac.
We were orbit guards together.
He didn't have any friends, either.
Of course, he was obnoxious.	obnoxious = very rude, offensive, or unpleasant
Am I obnoxious?
No, ALF, you're not.
[BURPS]
Good.
I'm sure things will get better.
That's easy for you to say.
You're not the one who just bought
a one-way ticket to Lonelyville.	Lonelyville = an imaginary town (-ville is a common suffix meaning ‘small town’)
No, but I do understand.
Oh, do you?
Well...
...I guess it would be like me
never being able to leave the house...
...or to see anybody else
for the rest of my life on this planet.
That's terrible.
Hurts, doesn't it?
I mean, Dr. Schrock says
we should take risks...
...but how can I take a risk
when there's no one to take a risk with?
I'll help you.
You'll what?
I'll help you take that risk.
We've only got three hours.
ALF: Where is the styling mousse?
- Top shelf.
[CAN CLATTERS]
- Cologne?
- Bottom shelf.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
- Talcum powder?
- Under the sink.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
- Mouthwash?
- In the medicine cabinet.
[GLASS CLATTERS,
THEN SHATTERS]
- Mop.	mop = an object with a long handle and a mass of thick strings or a sponge on one end, used for washing floors
- Never mind. Let's go.
Nobody walk barefoot
in the bathroom.
- Come on, we're gonna be late.
- Well, how do I look?
Like a real hunk.	hunk =  a) a strong and sexually attractive man b) a large piece of a solid substance a hunk of meat/bread/plastic/concrete
- A hunk of what?
- Come on, we have to go.
No, really, a hunk of what?
Okay, the coast is clear.	the coast is clear = t is safe to do something because there is no one to see or catch you: Once the coast was clear, I opened the letter and began to read.
I thought she lived alone.
How come she has all these rooms?	How come …? = used when you want to know why something has happened or why a particular situation exists: How come you’re not at work today?
This is where Jody lives.
No, I still think
I should've brought her something.
Some flowers, some candy,
a Rambo doll.
ALF, you don't have to
bring her anything.
You mean, you gals	gals = girls
don't care about that sort of thing?
Well, we care a lot, but it's too late.
Maybe not. Let me see
what Willie's got in his coat.
Unh. Wah!
Oh, my gosh! It's somebody's hand!
ALF, it's a glove.
I'll be back at 9:00 sharp.	sharp = exactly
Nine, right.
- Sharp.
- Sharp, sharp. Right. Nine sharp.
Whatever you do...
...don't let her know you're an alien.
- All right, already. Okay.
- Okay, bye.
Right. Bye, bye, bye.
Nine sharp, not an alien.
- Nine sharp, not an alien.
WOMAN: Who is it?
Not an alien. I mean, it's ALF, me.
ALF, hi. I'm Jody.
ALF: It's a pleasure to meet you.
Oh, please, you don't have to bow.
Hey, nice place you have here,
in case you were wondering.
Thank you.
I decorated it myself,
in case you were wondering.
- Shall we sit down?
- Oh, good idea.
- There's a chair right in front of you.
- I wondered what that was.
Oh, I almost forgot. I made food.
Great.
Good friends, good food.
Tonight is kind of special.
Would you like some
shrimp hors d'oeuvres?	hors d'oeuvres = a food served in small amounts before the main course of a meal hors d'oeuvres
- Shrimp or what?
- Hors d'oeuvres.
Mm. That's a tough choice.	tough = difficult
I'll go with the shrimp.	go with something = to choose or accept something: I think we should go with yellow for the walls.
Oh. Ha-ha-ha.
I get it:	get = understand
"Shrimp or d'oeuvres."
[CHUCKLING]
Cat hairs.
Oh...
I'm so embarrassed.
I thought I got them all.
[SNIFFING]
Persian, '78.	Probably cats to ALF are like wine to people
Could be a '79.
You'll probably be covered with hair
by the time you leave.
Oh, hey, I'm used to it.
Oh, tasty vittles.
Oh, good.
Well, I was worried
you wouldn't like it.
Nowadays,
you don't know what to make.
I mean, you never know
what people will eat.
Some people won't eat red meat,
some won't eat sugar...
...some won't eat fried foods
or dairy products.
Hey, thanks. They were delicious.
- There you go.
- "Were"?
Well.
I'm glad you enjoyed them.
- Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want some?
- Actually, I'm too nervous to eat.
- I eat when I'm nervous.
- You're nervous too?
Mm-hm.
Of course,
I also eat when I'm not nervous.
I eat when I'm depressed.
- I eat when I'm bored.
- I eat when I'm Ionely.
I eat all the time.
- I'm a little overweight.
- I'm short.
- I'm blind.
- You win.
Well, how about some music?
- Oh, the stereo is to your right.
- Thanks.
If you hadn't said anything,
I might have played the lamp.
What would you like to hear?
Oh, anything by the Archies,	the Archies = a fictional American band whose most popular song was Sugar, Sugar
or the Partridge Family.	the Partridge Family = American TV series
I don't have those.
Well, then just stick on
anything by the Chipmunks.	the Chipmunks = is an American animated music group created by Ross Bagdasarian, Sr., for a novelty record in 1958. The group consists of three singing animated anthropomorphic chipmunks
[BOTH LAUGHING]	chipmunk
Yeah.
[TURNS OFF RADIO]
- There's someone calling you.
- Where?
ALF, I'm blind, but I'm not deaf.
LYNN: ALF.
ALF, come on.
It's Cathy Rigby, isn't it?
No, it's the girl I'm living with.
- What?
- It's not what you think.
She's only 16 years old.
- It's worse than I thought.
LYNN: ALF.
ALF, my parents are gonna catch us!
Yeah, yeah. Coming.
I know this doesn't sound good...
...but I can explain everything.
Just tell me the truth.
The whole truth.
I can't tell you the whole truth.
Actually...
...I can't tell you any of it.
Except one thing:
I really care about you.
I care about you too, ALF.
And I'm asking you to trust me.
Well, you're asking an awful lot.
I know I am.
But remember what Dr. Schrock said:
Sometimes you have to take a chance.
But it seems that I'm taking
a bigger chance than you are.
You have no idea.
LYNN: ALF. ALF!
Yeah, in a second.
Jody...
...are you willing
to take a chance on me?
- Yes.
- Good.
Then, let me ask you something.
[KNOCKING]
ALF, we've gotta leave right now.
It's 9:00.
[SIGHS]
So, how about it?
Sounds good.
- Good night, ALF.
- Good night, Jody.
[DOOR CLOSES]
We made it.
Oh, my gosh,
the bathroom's a mess.
Hi.
You're late.
Sorry, we had to make a little stop
along the way.
Yeah, we thought about
what you said before...
...about wanting a friend.
So, here.
This is Sparky.
You got me a rat. Nice gesture.
It's a hamster.
Same genus, different species.	genus = a group that includes all living things that have similar features. It usually has a Latin name species = a plant or animal group whose members all have similar general features and are able to produce young plants or animals together
They taste exactly alike.
[SNIFFING]
I'll take him back tomorrow.
Tonight.
KATE: Come on, Brian, let's get you to bed.
- Let's go.
- Hi, everybody.
The bathroom's clean.
Great.
You know, Lynn...
...I'll never forget
what you've done for me tonight.
Well, the important thing
is that it's over.
Yeah, at least until Saturday.
Saturday?
Guess who's coming to dinner.